So I decided that one of the major issues our department is confronting is the lack of appropriate swag, as the hip kids say. So I've been tinkering with CafePress and here's what we now have in "beta":
(Note: I'm not responsible for the "Made in the USA," so please no emails on the virtues of comparative advantage and low tariff barriers)
So far it only exists online, but once I get one and if it's halfway decent we'll open it up for orders. At last, our own merchandise!